Self Love And Self Destruction
Alan Watts, was an early promoter of Transcendental Meditation in our country (50’s-60’s), and stated that Buddhism “should be considered a form of psychotherapy rather than religion”. The simplicity of Buddhism resonates with the nature of love, as do many other religions, if practiced according to their original intention. But religion also teaches “moral violence” according to Watts. Recently, I have been reviewing his old radio broadcasts. Watts shared a wealth of knowledge gained from traditional Christian upbringing as well as Zen and Buddhist teachings. He was formally trained as a theologian, and gained much notoriety in his day.
One broadcast that struck me was his clarity regarding self love and self destruction. “If we do not learn to love ourselves, the opposite will happen. We will self destruct.” As you can imagine, this can happen in a variety of ways, from subtle to extreme. He notes “love is a spectrum from fantasy (libido) to mature love (agape).” In our lives we may have experienced many different types of love, and most of us never think about self-love at all.
Love is a loaded word, and “love hurts” (Mellencamp). It is messy, but “all we need is love” (Lennon). In fact, we cannot thrive without it, and children lack self-esteem into adulthood when faced with a life without it. Love is patient, love is kind, (Ecclesiastes ) except when it isn’t. Then it will rob you blind, and you will search for it your entire life.
Watts says we “must let love have its’ way”. Follow love, it is the place where you feel the most comfortable, content and happy. We can be ourselves when we are loved. Being ourselves is a tough job in our current environment due to all the high speed connections and roles we play. Aging helps with this process…we let go of worrying what our parents, teachers, husbands, wives, and yes our children think we should be.
Watts says “loving yourself is like kissing your own lips”.
Every day, look in that mirror and love yourself. Look yourself in the eyes and say “I love you!” and mean it. Expect your life to change. the river in the picture is swollen with water. The photo was taken off my balcony and it is the Scioto River in Columbus, Ohio. I can imagine the water as love, and washing through every cell of my body. It smooths our the aches and pains of daily life, and washes me clean. The energy of love is like water. Let the dam break!
